Prompt 1 · A Second Submission
Claim. Secondary schools should offer pupils one opportunity to revise each major assignment before awarding a final mark.
Reason. A revision after feedback can show how well a pupil has learnt to correct an important mistake.
Task direction
State how far you agree with both the claim and the reason offered in its support. Explain whether the reason is sound and how much support it gives the claim.
Writing plan and useful language
- Support a revision opportunity for assignments designed to develop skills.
- Show how a history revision can reveal improved reasoning.
- Distinguish a pupil’s judgement from a teacher’s contribution.
- Set conditions for fair revision and independent assessment.
Useful language
Verbs in context
evaluate a revision · apply feedback · assess demonstrated learning
Phrases to adapt
- “The reason is persuasive when the revised work shows that a pupil can …”
- “Extending the opportunity to every major assignment also assumes that teachers can …”
Show model answer
When a major assignment is designed to teach a skill, pupils should usually have one chance to revise it before receiving a final mark. The reason for this policy is sound under certain conditions. A revision can reveal whether a pupil has understood a mistake and can correct it. How much it reveals depends on what the feedback supplies and what the pupil has to work out.
Consider a history essay that quotes a factory owner’s account as evidence of how workers experienced a strike. A teacher might ask whose perspective is missing. If a pupil then compares the owner’s account with a worker’s letter and explains why the two writers describe the same event differently, the revised essay shows a change in reasoning. The pupil has made a judgement about evidence that the teacher’s question left open.
The same improvement in the finished essay could mean something different if the teacher chose the letter, explained the disagreement and suggested how to rewrite the paragraph. A pupil could follow those directions successfully while still struggling to evaluate a fresh source. In that situation, the reason supports giving feedback as part of instruction, but the revision gives the teacher a limited basis for judging independent understanding.
Schools could make revision fairer by giving everyone the same amount of class time and asking pupils to explain one substantial change. A science pupil who rewrites a conclusion might identify the observation that changed their interpretation. A separate assignment may still be needed when the purpose is to see what pupils can do on their own, such as a practical assessment of whether they can design a fair comparison from scratch.
I would therefore offer revision on major assignments where responding to feedback is part of the skill being assessed. An initial attempt, focused feedback and a meaningful choice about what to change can produce better evidence of learning than the first submission alone. The case is weaker when a mark needs to represent performance under independent conditions.
Show rationale
The model takes a qualified position on the school policy, then tests the reason against revisions with different levels of teacher input. Its examples show when improved work provides evidence of learning. The proposal for a common feedback process follows from that analysis and addresses the breadth of the claim.